The Subtlety of Slander
Tongues of Fire
The great Puritan Thomas Watson once said that our teeth and lips are two natural fences that God has given us to keep in and contain our tongues. Yet sadly, even with the help of these two fences—not to mention the addition of the 9th Commandment—we too often let our tongues run amuck and cause all sorts of trouble. Why is this so?
The Apostle James, recognizing the formidable nature of the tongue, says:
“How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
– James 3:6-8
Though small, our tongues have the ability to leave a massive wake of destruction. One little “innocent” rumor, one little white lie, one little slanderous secret (Prov. 20:9), one little whetted whisper (Prov. 18:8) and an entire church community, business, or team can be engulfed in tongue-fire. This is a reality we must reckon with.
And if we want to be a people who live not by lies, as Pastor Matt encouraged us to be on Sunday, then we need to be mindful of the ways that our tongues can get us into trouble by twisting the truth. Yes, we need to avoid outright lying, but even more than that, we must be intentional promoters and champions of truth.
Just like it’s easy to say that we haven’t violated the 6th Commandment because we haven’t actually murdered someone, it’s easy to say that we don’t “bear false witness against our neighbor” because we haven’t falsely testified against them in court or told any blatant lies. But the Devil is always in the details.
And in this post, I want to encourage you to beware of the subtlety of slander and gossip.
Slander’s Subtlety
We slander when we make deliberately false and damaging statements about someone else, often behind their back. And while slander may be the worse of the two, slander and gossip usually go hand in hand. Kevin Deyoung, in his book on the Ten Commandments, defines gossip as “passing along a report or rumor that cannot be substantiated.” He goes on to say that we also gossip when we pass along a true report unnecessarily. Wow! This might be tougher than we thought!
As we consider how to avoid the sins of slander and gossip, Deyoung provides us with some really helpful questions to ask as we navigate this tricky terrain. He asks:
Is it necessary to pass along this information?
Would the person I’m about to talk about be happy if I were to pass along this information?
What am I going to do as a result of telling this third party about this other person?
If you hesitate to have a good answer for any or all of those questions (and there may be other prudential questions to consider as well), then perhaps you are caught in gossip and slander’s subtle trappings.
Not only do we need to be careful to avoid these sins, but we shouldn’t be naive about how our hearts can deceive us on these matters too. John Calvin says,
“…for scarcely one in a hundred will be found who will be as kind in sparing the character of others, as he himself desires to be pardoned for manifest vices; nay, slander is often praised under the pretext of zeal and conscientiousness. Hence it happens that this vice insinuates itself even among the saints, creeping in under the name of virtue.”
– John Calvin
In our pride, we often minimize the virtues of others and exaggerate their faults (because it makes us look better, right?). But is this how we are to love our neighbor as God’s word demands? Is this how we would like to be treated? Calvin essentially says that under a pretense of “concern” or “care” for others, we mask our slander and gossip as a virtue. May it not be so among the people of Emmaus Road Church!
Let us be on guard to protect the good name and reputation of our fellow church members, let us not passively sit by as we listen to unsubstantiated gossip, and let us help one another in this difficult task as we look to and trust in our Savior.
Thomas Watson reminds us that,
“The slanderer wounds three at once: he wounds him that is slandered; he wounds him to whom he reports the slander, by causing uncharitable thoughts to arise up in his mind against the party slandered; and he wounds his own soul, but reporting of another what is false.”
– Thomas Watson
The tongue can cause incommensurate damage compared to its small size, yet may we never let it have the last word. Though our slanderous and subtle sins are many, the mercy and grace of Christ are more. And he calls his people to be his true witnesses in the world. So let us protect our neighbor, our fellow church members, and ourselves as we seek to be promoters of the truth.